I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize