I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
