Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
