And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
