Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
