i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
