I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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