You just made me feel so damn special
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
