we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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