No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
