Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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