What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
