it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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