I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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