My liver just broke up with me...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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