If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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