why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
