That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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