oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
