you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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