I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I will pee on everything he values.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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