I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
