I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize