Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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