dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
