I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
