why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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