so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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