Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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