We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
