Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
