Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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