I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
