dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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