i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
