Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
