You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
