so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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