how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
