If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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