Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
