Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
