Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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