pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
