ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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