So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
