I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
did you just send me my own nude
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize