Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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