Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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