The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
