So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
