I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
