PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
