Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you had me at cake vodka
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
These tits shall not be calmed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
