i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
