who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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