so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
