Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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