I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
