i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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